No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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