so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
