Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
