The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
ugly people sure do ruin things
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
they're like a gay fantastic four
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
