I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
