Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
