I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
