why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
