Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
