I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
