All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
