Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So vagazzling was a success
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
