it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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