i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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