How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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