i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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