Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
