i don't like sucking hair
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
