Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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