dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
