So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
