There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
