she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
