please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
