You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
the raccoons are back...
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