She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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