Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
