Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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