so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
