youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
