That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
