You're earring is so big in my mouth
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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