Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
