new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Randomize
