Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
