Only a mothe r could love this liver
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
