Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
