so that wasnt chicken after all
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
