I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
