But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I didn't notice because vodka
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
