After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
