The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
