Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
