It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
