i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
