I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
