i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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