You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
