google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
