Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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