We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
