i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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