this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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