I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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